That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize