haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
