My hair reeks of homosexuality.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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