I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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