I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
bring money and cleavage
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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