There was a lot of him and a little penis
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Randomize
