if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Randomize
