She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
