She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
