Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
All the doctor said was why
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
