Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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