absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
