I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
