A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
