I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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