she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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