the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
