just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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