So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
