shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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