Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
But theres a keg here and me gusta
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
