Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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