if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
