no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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