dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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