Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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