when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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