Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
