17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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