wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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