how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Even my vagina gasped.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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