I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
