I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Dicks are not precious.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
