My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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