We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
