I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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