You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
