ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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