he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
