You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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