Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
