So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
