that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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