Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
