Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
