i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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