Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Is it because I queefed?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Damn victory sex feels great
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
