guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
