Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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