fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
