mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
