Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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