And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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