We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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