You're my little dorito
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
