We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
