a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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